Saturday, March 5, 2011

March 5

her letter
rupturing a sacred bond
my first born


  1. Yes, it is. My daughter, at age 27, right after I'd gotten her out of an abusive marriage (at her request), wrote me that she never wanted to hear from me again. That was nearly 14 years ago and her birthday is this month. However, she is allowing me to write monthly, sending my letters through an intermediary, and she is also allowing for occasional gifts, so my hope is that one day we can start over. We were always so very close until the break that that made it even harder. Family hasn't turned out the way I always thought it would, but that's life I guess. As a result of my losses, I treasure each and every friend I make even more and I'm so glad you found your way to my website and we "hooked up." It means a great deal to me. Thanks!

  2. That's so very unfortunate, Daphne! But the fact she's willing to receive your monthly letters and occasional gifts does make me hopeful too that one day you'll be able to reconcile completely. Are you able to get any news of her? I certainly hope she didn't return to that abusive marriage, at least!

    Family didn't turn out as I'd hoped and anticipated at all either, but I think - and I know we've discussed this before since it's how "Women Who Run with the Wolves" first came up - creating your own family through friendships is every bit as nurturing and rewarding and satisfying. Moreso, I believe, because friends choose to be together, whereas blood relatives are thrown together by fate (or whatever force is responsible!), and more often than not it can be a very challenging, even toxic, match. The number of people I know who have wonderful friendships but frustrating, hurtful or just plain horrible family relationships far outnumber those whose family members nurture them with unconditional love (or any other kind!)

    Thank you for your wonderfully sweet and generous sentiments, Daphne, both here and on Andrea's blog... they made my day! So now you've made both days of my weekend, bless your tender heart! :-) I'm glad I found your blog too and that we're friends. Funny, I was just thinking about that the other day, recalling how I found you and remembering that unlike many of the blogs I've found via other blogs, I found you when I was looking for quilt books and goodies for AdventureJo's Christmas gifts! :-)

    By the way, did you finish "Women Who Run with the Wolves?" I really must read it again, but it's in a big stack of "to be read" books and I'm not able to find nearly as much time to read as I want/need. Hopefully that will change fairly soon, and one day I hope it changes for good!

    Wishing you a restful, cozy, contractor-free day! (I remember those, and what a wonderful relief it always was to have a day and the house to myself for a change!) :-) XOXO!

  3. A whole story in these 3 poignant lines.

  4. Thanks, Laloofah, and yes, I know what you say about birth family vs. made family, and I too think it is funny how you found my blog--certainly wouldn't have found it looking for recipes! I did finish "Women Who Run with the Wolves" and found it to be a very powerful book--sure appreciate your recommending it. I am working at finding my tribe and I think I'm actually succeeding at it. The weekend was wonderful! Today is another enforced confinement day, but the last of the sheetrock sanding! They prime later this afternoon and it all goes pink on Friday! Can't wait for that!

    Thanks, Janice, and yes it is amazing just how powerful haiku is, isn't it!